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Download Episode 33

Let your ears enjoy another show where the 3 Wise Woodies talk about bad vaginal odor, dildo’s as weapons, a dead beat dad, the TSA, several pussies, what’s going on in the swinger community, guns and trucks, Kanye West, robbing and drinking, Eddie Munster, a lot of rats, and condoms.

It stinks A woman makes threats for oral sex

Thats not pleasurable This lady uses her sex toy as a weapon

Big debt Bad dead beat dad

Start them young The TSA teaches your children

More is better

Swing batter Not such a fun party anymore

Extra options Buy from these guys and get a little something extra

Once again Kanye West goes over the edge once more

Run farther What not to do when you commit a crime

Creepy user Eddie Munster has a habit

Bring the cheese When the rats take over

Decorate yourself How not to use a condom

So the 3 Wise Woodies visited the 2010 Brew Fest to taste some good beer and check out some hot women. Do I need to tell you that we got pretty drunk? Didn’t think so. At least this year GB didn’t get into a fight. Check out the photos and see for yourself how fun it was.

Pour that beautiful amber joy

Nice find gentlemen

GB makes sweet love to a cop car

Oh what a finish that was

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Download Episode 15

GB returns to the show! We watch some PG Porn, listen to Mel Gibson go crazy, talk about the Captains penis, Facebook apps, family pet photos, Sheyla Hershey and her boobs, and Sugar Bush the squirrel.

Whiter Facebook apps This app will change anyone into a whitey

PG Porn The funniest digs at the porn industry
-Squeal Happy Whores
-Roadside Ass-Sistance
-Helpful Bus

Mel Gibson Someone goes crazy on the phone

Bad pet photos How to embarrass your children later on in life

Sheyla Hershey The biggest boobs are sick

Sugar Bush Squirrel Dressed up photos of a squirrel that make us laugh

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Download Episode 13

The Godfather comes to the studio this week while we hear from GB, discus bad parenting, loud sex, selling children, drunk on the ocean, Santa giving away cigarettes, the return of Captains corner, and the fattiest foods in the nation.

Don’t buy it How not to try to sell your children

She’s a screamer This woman can’t keep her mouth shut

Bad breeding Why people shouldn’t have children

Santa gives good gifts What our parents got from Santa Claus

Custom guns Make your own modifications to a Nerf gun

Drinking and floating Passing out on the ocean is a bad idea

Bad boyfriend The Captains corner presents this personal letter

Strange sentences These are this years winners from the 2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Killing fat people The fattiest foods in each state

Download Episode 8

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Roy joins us again as we discuss Disneyland, playing with your food, religious zealots, getting a DUI, and the Olsen twins.

Disneyland This is where your missing roller coaster photo went

Play Time Playing with your food has never been so cool

Gods Website The world source for anti-masturbation tips and teaching about how women become men

The Olsen twins, what a weekend

Nickelback All of their songs really are the same

So you wanna go to a tit bar and see some ass. Problem is, no money… No problem.

Some associate the tit bar with a place requiring you to spend your hard earned duckets to get some action. Not true. Though going to the Gentleman’s club can be fun with boat loads of green, one does not need it to have a good time.

I by no means am an expert on doing anything cheaply, therefore; the ideas expressed within can only offer value for dollar. Unless you are a master of manipulating women (like me) you will find that going to the strip club with a lot of money is always better suited. The best bang for the buck comes around rent time.

Rent time
The best time to get more action from a dancer than most parts of the month. Like buying a car, salesmen have quotas. Strippers have rent… All the money made in the industry is lavishly spent. Glass heals with goldfish floating in them… $200. All the blow these broads snort… $????. Point is, bills come at the first of the month. I’ve found that the 4th night at most clubs is filled with women who will do whatever takes to make rent.
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This weekend was the annual Brew Festival in our little town, an event that manages to draw in somewhere around seventy thousand people. As is to be expected the Wise Woodies were there in high form, unfortunately this Woodie had a not so great time due to a poor decision on my part. We were all together and well on our way to buzzville. Captain Joe left first and was the smart one, GB and I drank longer and then even he had to take off. If I had been smart I wouldn’t have bought his drink tokens off of him and left myself. But no, Bruno isn’t that smart. So I ended up with a chick that I only managed to get away from at the last minute and have to deal with until I can shake for good.

For this reason I have come up with the new rules for checking myself when I am drinking heavily and accosted by a woman who, thanks most likely to beer goggles, looks really fucking good.

1. Never think that you are immune to beer goggles. The minute you start to think that it means that you are wearing the biggest pair ever made.
2. Check with a friend. If your buddies are good ones they’ll stop you. If you don’t trust the first one you ask, or are too drunk to believe him, ask a second. Never doubt them when you get the same answer twice.
3. Don’t show up at your friends house with her, even if they begged you to come over after you were finished drinking. Chances are they will already be passed out since they went home and then you are waking them up in the middle of the night with a strange girl in your wake.
4. Never give out your real phone number if you are unsure of yourself. Ask for hers and say you’ll call her. If she wants yours give her a fake one. If she presses you about it being real, which happens, tell her of course it is and she could call you right then to talk except your phone is dead.
5. Never go to your house. If at all possible go to hers, if she lives really far away just bag the whole affair. Why? Because you don’t want her knowing where you live and you don’t want to wake up at her house in Bum Fuck Egypt. Especially if you have to work the next day.

Hopefully I can adhere to these newly minted and badly needed rules. Maybe I should get them tattooed somewhere easily accessible…

We Woodies pride ourselves on our ability to handle our favorite beers. But what happens when you grab a half rack of beer and hop into a cab to check out a local attraction at 4am? How do you manage to enjoy your favorite beverage while traversing the city and all of the great sights during the wee hours of the morning? Well, we can tell you with our patented open container method. If you are out early enough to beat your local coffee shop from opening then we salute you. If, however, you are like us you only realize the time when the sun actually makes you start to sweat and the cover of darkness has fully disappeared. In this instance what do you do with your half rack and how will you get to keep consuming? The answer is quite simple, just make sure you have the following ingredients.

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